4.16.2011

status

I went to my therapist yesterday. I sat down and told her that I was more nervous than I have ever been to come see her. I started on my way to a panic attack, so I just said the words: "I was molested." I told her more of the story than I even said here, which is gigantic for me.

I want to thank you all for your comments on my last post. Your kind, understanding words went a long way in making me feel safe enough to tell the story aloud.

After therapy last night, my husband and I went out with our Couple Friends. It wasn't what I would've chosen to do right after a hefty therapy session, but it was cleansing to laugh so much. When we got back home around midnight, I told my husband that I told my therapist what had happened when I was little. I had never outright said the words to him before, but I had alluded over the years that something had happened, and it wasn't hard to for him to figure out who did it.

Having said it out loud has taken such a weight off me. Its amazing how much more poisonous it can be for the darkness to just be sitting inside me than after bringing it to light.

I feel as if this rock had been tied to my heart, weighing it down, for all these years. And I finally cut the damn strings.

3 comments:

  1. Melissa,

    That is great news! I know that it took a lot of courage to say it out loud, not only here, but to your therapist and husband. I know that it can be scary to say these things out loud because doing so can make us feel somewhat vulnerable at first, but once you get past those initial feelings, you feel free of it. It sounds like that is just what has happened.

    Now, you will be able to start the process of understanding how it has affected your life and eventually come to a place of healing.

    It's good that you were able to go out with your friends and laugh. What a great reminder of what life is really about. Hugs to you!

    Have a wonderful weekend!
    Raven

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  2. Melissa I agree with Raven of Truth. You are doing great. I am very impressed with your progress. I am glad you had a chance to laugh after wards. I like what my sister is always telling me, "The truth will make you free, but first it will make you really miserable." Truth is an awesome thing.

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  3. Glad to hear you feel like a weight has been lifted, and that we could be of some help.

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